One. Solitary. Word.
So much encases that one word.
Afraid to even say I am afraid.
I am married to the most supportive and caring husband and together we have 4 daughters. We are a blended family and with that comes a lot of joy and a few extra complications. Recently we moved so my husband could follow his dream job and in doing so, almost all was perfect.
Except for one thing.
I am unemployed and I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. And to make matters more complicated, there is very little hope that this will change.
So I brainstorm. I look for ways to make this all work. I have done this before. I can do it again.
EXCEPT BEFORE was before a blended family. Before responsibilities to ensure others’ happiness as well as my own.
This is a completely different ball game from when I chose to move to The Netherlands, or from when I chose to move to Suriname, or from when I chose to move to Cambodia or South Africa or Mozambique or Lesotho.
This time it involves separating a family, parents in love, sisters who enjoy each other.
This time it is the World Series, the game is in extra innings and I am up to bat. The stress and the fear is palpable. At least mine is.
So even though I am afraid, we have decided to make this difficult decision to temporarily separate our family in the hope that the positive outweighs the negative, that the rewards outweigh the challenges and that the glass remains half full and not half empty.
This is also why I started to blog.
I may need some reassurance when it gets a bit rough and I question why I do the things that I do.
And as the hotel manager states in the movie,The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, “everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, it is not yet the end.”
(I have accepted a contract to teach in Cairo for two years at a school that one of our daughters will also attend. This is her second move in two years so this has been a family decision; one made together. Fortunately, she is a bright open-minded teen who adores new experiences, particularly those that involve travel, learning languages and finding her way in a new culture. She could pass on the food however.)
You are welcome to join me this month as I blog using adjectives from A to Z that highlight my OTD (obsessive travel disorder) for the A to Z Challenge.