A Is For Afraid

Afraid.

One. Solitary. Word.

So much encases that one word.

Afraid to even say I am afraid.

Complicated? Yes.

I am married to the most supportive and caring husband and together we have 4 daughters. We are a blended family and with that comes a lot of joy and a few extra complications. Recently we moved so my husband could follow his dream job and in doing so, almost all was perfect.

Except for one thing.

I am unemployed and I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. And to make matters more complicated, there is very little hope that this will change.

So I brainstorm. I look for ways to make this all work. I have done this before. I can do it again.

EXCEPT BEFORE was before a blended family. Before responsibilities to ensure others’ happiness as well as my own.

This is a completely different ball game from when I chose to move to The Netherlands, or from when I chose to move to Suriname, or from when I chose to move to Cambodia or South Africa or Mozambique or Lesotho.

This time it involves separating a family, parents in love, sisters who enjoy each other.

Jade's pics 2013 feb-oct 163

This time it is the World Series, the game is in extra innings and I am up to bat. The stress and the fear is palpable. At least mine is.

So even though I am afraid, we have decided to make this difficult decision to temporarily separate our family in the hope that the positive outweighs the negative, that the rewards outweigh the challenges and that the glass remains half full and not half empty.

This is also why I started to blog.

I may need some reassurance when it gets a bit rough and I question why I do the things that I do.

And as the hotel manager states in the movie,The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, it is not yet the end.”

(I have accepted a contract to teach in Cairo for two years at a school that one of our daughters will also attend. This is her second move in two years so this has been a family decision; one made together. Fortunately, she is a bright open-minded teen who adores new experiences, particularly those that involve travel, learning languages and finding her way in a new culture. She could pass on the food however.)

You are welcome to join me this month as I blog using adjectives from A to Z that highlight my OTD (obsessive travel disorder) for the A to Z Challenge.

Happy Travels,

Cheryl

35 comments

  1. snowsomewhere · June 11, 2015

    Good luck for Egypt! I know what you mean. Settling down has been tough for me! Hard to get a job I’m passionate about in my home town and it’s been hard to give up my freedom to travel and explore in order to live a more ordinary life where I’m no longer the strange, foreign blonde with the crazy plans. I’m just an ordinary job seeker among countless others. I know one day I’ll get to live my dreams again, because I’m very, very persistent! But meanwhile, I have to admit I feel a bit displaced. I guess I have OTD, too! 😉 But: I’ll survive! Anyway, I’m happy I finally found this post explaining why you’re moving to Egypt. It completely makes sense! Happy to hear you’ll keep blogging! (if this is why you started in the first place!) And I’m sure it’s a good decision! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lovetotrav · June 11, 2015

      Thanks so much and it does feel good to be understood by others. I am passionate about teaching and not working this year has not been easy. Being able to combine exploring and teaching is a great fit for me but it does mean a lot of sacrifices as well. Thank goodness I have a very understanding family who is completely supportive. I wish you all the best in finding a niche that works for you too. And yes, this is why I started blogging and of course, it has turned into something more for me than just a way to let friends and family know what I am doing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 0htheplacesyoullgo · May 22, 2015

    I’m loving your blog! So many interesting things you’ve done – incredible. I also love that you’ve looked up how to cross the street here! I found life here fairly easy to adjust to. With all of the preparation you’re doing, you’re going to have a head start. And don’t worry – Arabic is easier than it appears, and reading the numbers on your bill will be a cinch!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lovetotrav · May 22, 2015

      Ahhh thanks so much! It does seem a tad overwhelming this time.

      Like

  3. wifeabroad · April 7, 2015

    I’m looking forward to reading the stories of your new life.

    Like

  4. g · April 2, 2015

    Hoping and praying for the best for all of you!

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 2, 2015

      Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Just read your piece on autism a year ago… today being a year from then. I so agree with you then and still today. Have a great day and I look forward to following you as well. Cheryl

      Like

  5. legreene515 · April 2, 2015

    What a hard decision. Good luck in Cairo. I hope all goes well on your journey. And I do have to say, I’m a little envious of your traveling life!

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 2, 2015

      Thanks for the “good luck”. We may need it at times. My parents were travellers so it was inevitable that this gene would pass on. 🙂 Cheryl

      Liked by 1 person

  6. jessicakeefer · April 2, 2015

    I think it’s so brave that you are doing not only what is best for your children, but also what is best for YOU. I think as mothers we so easily set our own needs aside for much too long. And Cairo sounds absolutely incredible.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 2, 2015

      Wow. Thanks so much for the vote of support. I appreciate it. I really do. Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving a comment. Have a great night. Cheryl

      Like

  7. These are never easy decisions to make. Good luck with your new adventure. I’ll look forward to your posts.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thank you so much for dropping by. I guess the more challenging experiences require tougher decisions. They seem to go hand in hand. Happy blogging, Cheryl

      Liked by 1 person

  8. saskia · April 1, 2015

    Brave move and blog. And amazing opportunities as well. Good luck! I look forward to reading more

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thank you so much for dropping by. I appreciate it. And thanks for the good luck. I may need it 🙂 Happy blogging, Cheryl

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Laura Roberts · April 1, 2015

    Wow! Moving with half of your family to a new country would definitely make me feel afraid as well. But it also sounds like an Adventure (another good A word!), and a great opportunity. Plus, you won’t be Alone – your daughter will be with you. Cairo sounds like a super interesting place to live and teach – or study. I look forward to reading more about your new journeys and wish you lots of luck. Happy A to Zing!

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thanks so much Laura. Yes, it will be an adventure as well. I am sure there will be a few stories more once we are there. Happy A to Zing back to you. Cheryl

      Like

  10. patgarcia · April 1, 2015

    Hi,
    I am an ExPat American living on the European Continent and planing to move to Italy sometime in 2016. I admire your guts to follow your vision. Good luck.
    Visiting from the A to Z Blog Challenge.
    Shalom,
    Patricia at Everything Must Change

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. I wish you the best of luck in your move to Italy. I am jealous! Have a great day, Cheryl

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Lacey Dearie (@LaceyDearie) · April 1, 2015

    Wow, what an unusual life you have. I’d love to not only visit other cultures but live amongst them like you do. I can understand your fear totally.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thanks for dropping by. I know that there is always some challenge involved in doing anything new and outside of the box and fear is part of that. Have a great day and thanks for commenting. Cheryl

      Like

  12. Daryl · April 1, 2015

    Hi Cheryl! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to doing this challenge with you and reading more about your upcoming adventure! It sounds like it was a tough decision, but the important thing is you made it as a family. Best of luck to you and your daughter!

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thanks so much Daryl. I appreciate it. Happy blogging this month to you too, Cheryl

      Like

  13. Rhonda Albom · April 1, 2015

    Big decision Cheryl. Congratulations on making it. To me it sounds exciting, and I have a teen that would love it as well. I look forward to following your adventure.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thank you so much Rhonda. Yes, my teen is very excited as well as she is like me, obsessed with exploring. Thanks also for following. It means a lot. Have a great day, Cheryl

      Like

  14. zaagitravel · April 1, 2015

    Wow! It’s kind of incredible how much this post hits home for me… literally.

    This is my first year doing the A-Z Challenge… My theme is my current move to New Zealand.

    I’m (almost) 24 and my parents are very very very unhappy with me, to the extreme, for doing so (the move). And while I’m excited to get to NZ and explore/discover everything it has to offer with my Kiwi boyfriend, I’m also afraid of what this means for my relationship with my family and anxiously wondering if everything is going to work out.

    Will really enjoy reading your posts!

    Cheers and thank you,

    Alexa Rae (Zaagi Travel)

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Oh, I am so excited for you to begin exploring the world with your boyfriend. You won’t regret it. It is sad that your parents aren’t on board but maybe with some time and some pics and reassurance that all is well and that you are growing as a person, they may see that travel can be a fantastic opportunity for learning about yourself and the world around you. My parents were serious travellers so I never had to experience anxiety from that end. I wish you all the best and happy travels. It will work out and I am hopeful for your sake, that they will come around. Take care, Cheryl

      Liked by 1 person

  15. njmagas · April 1, 2015

    I’m always afraid before a big life change. I’ve learned though that the scariest part is the worrying itself. It’ll be ok.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Thanks for the support. I look forward to reading your A to Z as well. Cheryl

      Like

  16. njmagas · April 1, 2015

    I’m always afraid when I make a big life change but I’m learning that the scariest part is the worrying itself. It’ll all be all right in the end.

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      I agree with you 🙂 The worrying and the anticipatory anxiety for me is usually the hardest; the actually “doing” much easier. Thanks for dropping by and responding. I appreciate it. Cheryl

      Like

  17. A Journey With You · April 1, 2015

    We still have so many friends from that time in our lives. Your daughter will make friends for life there.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. A Journey With You · April 1, 2015

    I went to high school at Cairo American College. It was an amazing journey. In fact, my husband and I both attended school there. Good luck to you! You will love it!

    Like

    • lovetotrav · April 1, 2015

      Oh my goodness. It is a small world after all. Thanks for dropping by and reading. And also thanks for the encouragement. I hope we will love it too. Cheryl

      Like

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