An apple blossom festival with no apple blossoms is like an apple pie without apples. A bit odd but then odd can be interesting. Or so we told ourselves as we wandered around the Colborne Apple Blossom Tyme Festival, east of Toronto.

With all the pickings of a perfect town fair, we decided to rename the festival and explore it with fresh eyes.

So what makes a perfect town fair in Canada?

Well first and foremost, you must have tractors, trucks, old cars and a few old men sitting in lawn chairs. You can’t call yourself a fair without these!

And what says fair more than fried mars bars, fried pickles, sausages, and fries. But cheesecake and wood oven pizza? Foodies are taking over, even at the fair!

Remember when kids used to play with hula hoops instead of app buttons? And pony rides cost a dollar?

And when was the last time you saw such a quaint, make you want to walk in kind of law office, ever?

Of course, fairs have ducklings but laser tag? I guess this is a town fair trying to get some teen buy-in.

Every perfect town fair has to have buskers, a ferris wheel, trinkets to buy, and a fire truck on display. We refrained from riding the ferris wheel when Chris deemed it a “no go” zone. Apparently the rust features didn’t scream rideability. But then again, Chris does do not rides…ever.

And it could never be a perfect town fair without a strong man competition. For those trying this at home, these are the steps to success.

And then for some light reading after the fair, you can pick up a free bible.

Or go to the quaintest church that reminded me of those in Mexico. And off my mind goes… dreaming of somewhere else.

I have to admit that being from the prairies, I am used to fairs with livestock, horse shows, 4H sewing and baking competitions, cowboy hats and of course, belt buckles! But we have hit the big leagues here in Ontario, so our criteria for judging the perfect town fair has changed. And this one was a winner.

What is your favourite part of a fair? MIne is the candy apple minus the apple!